TL;DR This book will only be useful if you have a parent who will be deeply involved in your life with your adopted child. The book refers to ‘grandparents and other relatives’ but it’s really focused on grantparents. Note that there is some information that I believe is factually wrong, so if you get this book to pass on to relatives, please read and be sure you’re happy with the contents first.


This is a slim volume, published by BAAF (the edition I read published in 2014). The cover blurb indicates “A handbook for grandparents and other relatives.” The book has very good reviews on Amazon UK.

Chapter 1: The book starts with a brief definition of adoption, referring to adoption in literature as well as the current understanding.

Chapter 2 explains the adoption approval process as well as matching. This chapter strongly implies that matching is part of the stage two adoption proces, when it clearly isn’t.

Chapter 3 covers some adoption-related legalities.

Chapter 4 gives a very brief background of the kinds of children who might be able to be adopted.

In chapter 5, we’re introduced to the joys of the family circle for children.

Chapter 6 talks about contact that adopted children might have with their birth relatives, focusing on how a grandparent could facilitate easier contact with birth family.

Chapter 7 identifies how religion and culture of the adopted child can be nurtured.

Chapter 8 is in question/answer format.

The story of a baby girl who is adopted is told in Chapter 9.

Finally, Chapter 10 challenges the reader (a grandparent or other family member) to decide how much they want to be involved in their adopted relative’s life.

It’s probably obvious that I didn’t enjoy this book much. In addition to the factual inaccuracy that I pointed out above, it seems to encourage relatives to be a bit more forward than I would have expected. It also seemed a bit put out that adoptive parents want to have time alone with their child when the child first comes home — surely the author understands that this isn’t just desirable but necessary?

In spite of my negative option, if you have parents in the picture who might be very involved with your child, it’s probably worth reading.